Part 46: Dude, where's my Citadel?

Dude, where's my Citadel?

They patched our system at work to address security issues. In doing so, they murdered it. Since I telecommute, I took this opportunity to get paid for LP'ing. Thanks, IT!

This is the point of no return in the game, once you start this mission you're locked in. So if there's anything you haven't done, best get it out of the way. You click on the mission and then you get a chance to back out. We've done it all, I didn't show it off but every system is at 100%. Once you're in the chute you have a chance to bang your LI one last time in a pretty much note-for-note scene of ME1. Lazy or callback? You decide! If you're a ManShep and romanced a boy you get the first (and only) gay love scene of the series. It's less graphic. Then one last pass through burning boy forest (thank god).

EDI wants to tag along, and will tag along because you're given no choice. Steve drives drunk, we punch out a couple giant robits, and EDI uses a fighter ship as a shortcut. Kill some mooks, watch some vlogs. We officially find out EDI was the AI we murdered all the way back on Luna. Good thing she doesn't hold a grudge. After murdering our way through the station we make it to TIM's inner sanctum and have a nice chat. Then everyone's (least) favorite shitninja shows up and we finally get the ability to kill him. It's still bullshitty but at least he can die now. Shep gets in some good burns. Then we finish off the job by shanking him. People say this is satisfying. Maybe a bit, but I say it doesn't make up for all the previous crap because we can't shit on his corpse or throw him out an airlock. We get what we need and discover...the Citadel is the Catalyst. Oh no. And TIM tipped off the Reapers (how? by text message?) so they packed it up and moved it to Earth. Our plan is now even more precarious because we have to hold the Reapers off long enough to use the damn thing. We should have just driven back to Ilos and used the Conduit. What is it with Bioware and C-words? Conduit, Crucible, Catalyst. Crabs and chlamydia. Instead we'll head to Earth and take an express elevator being guarded by Reapers since that's a sensible plan.

You'll have one last chance to talk to everyone, upgrade weapons, etc but that's it - we're pretty much done. The last mission is very long so I'll be breaking it up into a couple episodes.